Last day of Chemo!

This is the last day of chemo and if we have no set backs we can go back to Grandma's tomorrow. I am looking forward to getting out as this week has been a hard week. I think i am just getting tired and a little run down and like Brody getting sick of it all. Brody has had a craving for Smith's chips. Chips for breaky, lunch and dinner. At least he had a apple in between the chips. He cant stand the smells from hot meals, which makes it hard for me to eat anything near him. Brody is also still very moody, but still wants huggles from mummy. Which has helped as mummy has felt very emotional today!

Its a lonely and emotional thing to go through, even though you have support from family and friends you still feel so alone. You sit and wonder why this had to happen and why did so much have to happen to my little man.

When i was little i wished like many girls for a house, husband and a couple of kids with a happy healthy life. Then those dreams have got shattered over the years and you just wonder why!

Like many others, i was shattered to find out Brody had Autism and needed extra help, I dint know how i was going to cope doing this alone, but my years as a early childhood teacher helped me research and understand what i had to do. So i knew i had to accept this and move forward for Brody. Then when i found out he had Cancer my world come to a halt, I was angry with everyone and again was devastated by the news. This was some thing bigger and beyond me. I didn't know where to start or how i would even be able to do this. But 5 months have passed and i have learnt so much, meet so many wonderful people and I know I have tried my best and been there for Brody through out all of his years. We still have so much more to go through and discover. But i know that this experience has given me the best thing of all. My Little man's love and friendship. I wouldn't ask for any thing else.

Normal day in hospital!

Today Brody went better with the eye drops, he still argues with me but at least i dont need to hold him down. He is still doing really well, but was very tired this afternoon, so went to sleep before 5.00pm. He looks a bit pale tonight and has been still very moody.

He had his Nanna, Pop and Uncle Dane visit him today, and he loved all the things Nanna brought for him.
Grandma and Grandpa also come to visit, and they let me know that pop's funeral went really well. My lovely mum also picked up mine and Brody's washing to take back and wash. Love you mum, Thanks! What would we do, without our mum's.

Otherwise another normal day in the jail house!

Moody Day!

Brody has been very moody all day, he is still eating cold foods but not hot foods. He cant stand the smell from hot foods. He has not been sick, no high temps. I don't think any thing will knock my son down. The Doctors were also saying he is one tough cookie as most children get sick from this chemotherapy.

I had to hold him down twice today for eye drops as nothing would work, he is starting now to get back on track but again its taking a lot of work to get him to understand he needs the drops. Oh well, this is just normal stuff for me as it happens with everything. I hate it and wish people could just listen and understand what i am telling them before they just go and do something different.

We had a less busy day today, saw some of our friends from John Hunter children's hospital, which was a nice surprise. We did the normal routine stuff and both of us feel tired.

My thoughts have been with my Grandfather, mum and dad, today for the funeral of my Grandfather. He will be sadly missed. xxxx

My thoughts and heart goes out to the Selwyn family. Who have been heart broken over the loss of their beautiful Luke who had Autism and tragically drowned after wandering away yesterday afternoon. A bank account has been set up to help the family pay for a funeral and cover some living expenses during this time. Bendigo Bank North...... Richmond Luke Selwyn Benefit Account BSB: 633 000 ACC: 139544662, Thank you for helping. xxxxxx

Action Packed Day!

This morning was busy with doing activities with Brody and having to give him eye drops every 4 hours. I thought it was going to be like the nose tests, but we played Doctors and i pretended to do the eye drops in me, I also said this will give us special powers to turn things into ice. We also had to do the magic spell to make us Brave! It worked and i got the drops in each time. I was so happy.

Then Mary-Anne form Aspect come at 2.00pm and Brody still is not used to her, as he told her to go away and he doesn't like her. He then come around and played activities with us, with the help from his reward chart.

Brody was getting really tired by this stage as he normally has a afternoon sleep, but he had another visitor that come to visit him. He had his dad. So I went down stairs for a break.
I had come back up and the nurse had given Brody the eye drops, after all my good work, to get him to take them. It's now probably gone, as this is what happens if he doesn't stay in routine and especially if he has a bad experience, which the nurse said he screamed and he didn't get much in. Told him to wait for me next time, as he even gave it at the wrong time. But another nurse said that it was ok.

Otherwise Brody went to sleep at 6.30pm as he was so tired, he is starting to go off food again, so chemo is making him feel sick, otherwise no other side effects yet. Busy day, hopefully tomorrow is rest day.
Have to say a Big Thank you to two wonderful ladies that have been through what i have been through and still they can do kind things for us, Thanks Judi and Helena for the wonderful T-shirt that was sign by some country singers in Tamworth. Brody like it, good fit for him too, and the chocolates, they were yummy Judi. Thanks again, sending you all my LOve. xxxx

Back in Hospital Wednesday!

We waited around Grandma's house all morning to find out if we had a bed in hospital, we packed our stuff and watched DVD's. At 12.30pm we finally found out that we could go in. Grandma and Grandpa took us down to help us unload our truck load of stuff.

Brody again had to have the nose test as he still has his runny nose. But his temperature is still normal. I think he must be getting something as he is not his normal self. The hospital has again put us in the isolation ward because of his running nose. As we dont want to effect any one else with what every Brody has. We made it to our room around 6.00pm. Brody had a rough day as he cried his little heart out because he didnt want to come and then when he had the nose test. He is getting so sick and tired of it all, which is also making it harder and harder for me to be strong.

Brody then watched some movies on the starlight machine and went fast asleep, until i had to wake him for eye drops and his medicines. The eye drops are to help his eyes as the chemo he is taking this time can effect his eyes. This job is hard to as he tried to be brave but i don't even know if it got in his eyes. They say to let him closes his eyes and once he opens them it goes in. But Brody hardly opened them and hated the feeling of it going onto his eye. We have to do this all the time, every 4 hours, while we are in here, not looking forward to this week.

Thank you to Chantelle's hubby for making me wonderful meals to eat, and her beautiful children for giving up their mummy to come and visit me, and the gorgeous lady Chantelle. Also big thank yous to Grace and the Autism Advisory and Support Service for wonderful sensory toys. Brody loved them, he really liked the fan with the lights. Thanks again xxxxxx

Wet, lazy day!

What a wet and lazy day for the start of Autumn. Brody and i have had a normal day at Grandma's, watching Tv and playing activities. I also fixed Brody's posters up, ready for our stay in hospital.

Grandma and Grandpa have been busy with phone calls and organizing Pop's funeral, there is so much involved and its all taken its toll on everyone.
Brody is a handful when someone gets on the phone, as his voice gets louder and he runs around the person. So i have had to kept him occupied most of the day.

Brody has come down with symptoms like before when we spent 2 weeks in hospital. His temperature is still normal but a little bit high for him. So i am keeping a close eye on him. But we are all feeling tired and run down. Its been a hard time but like every thing else we push forward and move on.

Thank you to everyone for there thoughts, prayers and kind wishes. From all the family.xxxxxx
Thank you to every one that has offered to sit with Brody so i could go to my pops funeral, but like some of you have said Brody will not do any thing for any one else, even Grandma now has trouble with doing things with him, as all he wants is his mummy. My pop would have wanted it that way too, so thanks again. Also remember children with Autism don't like strangers and if there routine is not the same they will muck up, Brody does not need that stress either.But thank you for all kind thoughts. Its ok, I have said my goodbyes and will visit him again when visiting my sister. Thank you. xxxx

Check Up! and A sad Day!

Brody's check up went well, his echo (Heart test) was normal. His levels were low, so might need transfusion next week. They have booked him in for next Wednesday to go back to hospital for chemo depending if his levels are ok and they have a bed. We again waited around for long times and we were there for 5 hours.

Brody had performed again for the echo test and dressing change and seeing the Doctor. Brody has a few bruisers as his platelets are low and he keeps bumping himself when he performs. The Doctor said no wonder why he has so many bruisers, He is so active! I told her, no its because he is in this small room and you want to touch him and talk to me. Other wise the day was tiring running around chasing Brody through the halls of the hospital. We then come home and went to bed early.

Mum and dad come in and woke me up at 1.00am, as my grandfather had passed away. We had a few cries and had a talk. We then had to fix pop up ready for the doctor and undertakers to come and collect him in the morning. This might seem horrible but this experience has certainly toughen me up, i think i am prepared for anything. Mum used to be a nurse and she knew what had to be done, as if we left him he would of been to stiff for the undertakers (sorry if this offends you). My pop was a proud man and we wanted to fix him up for him too, he then looked so peaceful. Our family was very close to pop as we always went to visit him as kids and my two beautiful boys loved their great grandfather as well. Its been a emotional day, fixing the house up and sorting pops belongs out. We love you pop and will always miss you.xxxxx